News Flash: Everything causes global warming

 Here’s a small sample of some ridiculous articles I’ve stumbled across recently.  At least these don’t use the ever lovely and cuddly polar bear:

New reports show that Grizzly bears are being hunted and killed at an unprecedented rate. Special to the Daily/jiunlimited.com

• As bears die, hunters and climate change blamed (The Associated Press, picked up locally by Summit Daily News). The article is really about people killing grissly bears, but of course climate change is blamed for pine beetles killing trees (it’s a natural cycle). Even Chuck Schwartz, a bear biologist with the U.S. Geological survey says the bear population “remains strong for now, growing on average 4 to 5 percent a year.” [emphasis mine]
   
  The real reason more bears are being killed is summed up below by Christopher Servheen, bear recovery coordinator with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service:
   
  “Some people say, ‘This is terrible, there’s more bears killed now than in many years,’” Servheen said. “Well, there’s more bears now.”
   
  So how did this article about bears being killed get turned into a climate catastrophe story? I’m sure alarmist Managing Editor Alex Miller of the Summit Daily News hand picked this story.

Some fries with that? A Londoner dines al fresco. (AP)

• Do Fat People Cause Global Warming?  Yes, sadly you read that headline correctly. Even right-leaning Fox News seems to be getting in on the alarmism bandwagon, unless they ran this story tongue-in-cheek (which I doubt).  Seriously, are we going to start guilting overweight people about their impact on global warming?  Sheesh!  Enough said.
   
   

More environmentally friendly natural lamb condoms. Courtesy of naturalamb.com

•  Going Green in Bed: A Primer on Sustainable Sex Products.  Hello? Sex causes global warming?  Sure, everything does, according to the alarmists. Those who think for themselves can see this for what it is:  a marketing plan to sell more products.  I like the way Fox News has even come up with a new green color theme for their “green” website.  Of course this ran on Earth Day.  Is this good marketing or just pandering?

I guess the conclusion we should reach from all this news coverage in the mainstream media is that obese people who hunt grizzly bears and have sex are the main cause of global warming.  I’m really glad I know that now; I feel much better.  Special thanks to the mainstream media for educating me.